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Dr.
Thomas Lee Abshier
Christian Counseling
With a Naturopathic, Medical, and Scientific Perspective
Portrait of Dr.
Abshier
What
can you expect?
- Expect a rational,
heartfelt, and thorough examination of your problems.
- Expect a problem-solution
oriented approach, with each session bringing you a significant increment
of completion toward your goal of understanding and action.
- Expect a thoughtful,
Biblically consistent, solution that will challenge and inspire you
to grow in Godliness and maturity as a person.
- Engage in an
enjoyable and insightful analysis of the dynamics of your relationships.
- Deeply understand
the forces which brought you to your current condition.
- Acquire new
tools to help you break the hold of past hurts, vows, training, and
heredity.
- Examine your
understanding of scripture, and come to a stronger knowledge and commitment
to your faith.
- Process those
vague fears and dimly illuminated memories, and come to peace with
your past.
- Examine the
assumptions and decisions you have made about the meaning, purpose,
and goals for your life.
- Compare the
patterns of a happy, healthy, and in-love relationship with your own,
and learn make healthy changes in your job, family, and society.
- Explore the
options available for making right and Godly decisions in the face
of various moral dilemmas.
- Learn healthy
relationship skills as you adapt to the unique personality needs of
your family, friends, and business relationships.
- Examine where
you need to grow as you attempt to master the lessons associated with
each stage of life and develop missing life skills.
- Learn to develop
your character and embrace the joy of life.
My
Perspective on Counseling:
- From my training
as a Naturopathic Physician and my degree as an Electrical Engineer,
I bring a unique blend of Right and Left Brain therapies and approaches
to the counseling session.
- If you have
tried other counselors and would like to try a different style of
counseling, this may be an effective approach for you.
- As Naturopathic
Physicians we are trained to do counseling as one of our modalities
of healing. Resolving tensions associated with the various situations
of life is important to maintaining and restoring the body's health.
- While it is
not possible to change all situations, we can often change the way
we perceive and respond to the disturbing circumstances of life.
- Sometimes our
feelings and tensions are related to metabolic, hormonal, toxic, and
other medical stresses. As such, I can look at each client as a whole,
administering medical/naturopathic treatments as appropriate if desired.
- As a Christian
Counselor, people look to me to facilitate the processing and resolving
of life and relationship problems by comparing the Biblical pattern
of right behavior with their individual situations.
Marital
Counseling:
- I will typically
listen to one or both partners who have come to me for counseling
for 1/2 hour to an hour. I typically spend 1 to 1 1/2 hours with an
individual or couple. I try to allow enough time between patients
so that I can spend more time if necessary. If finances are a consideration
I will adjust the time accordingly to meet your limitations.
- I look for the
dynamics in a marriage that are out of balance and which may be causing
stress. I then confront, obtain agreement, and then offer suggestions
for future behavior.
- I recognize
that one partner may in fact be more responsible for the pain and
upset in a relationship, but even so, the "less offending"
partner can still grow and learn to respond properly in a difficult
situation.
- I observe how
the couple and individuals speak and respond to identify his/her personality
flaws and weaknesses. After obtaining agreement, I propose homework
designed to produce changes in behavior and attitude.
- Records of success
and failure are recorded throughout the week. We review the report
at the next meeting and redesign the plan to overcome any difficulties
or failures.
- Because of my
strong training in the experimental, rational, physical sciences,
I think in terms of cause and effect and look for the forces operating
in a system to create the problems a person is experiencing.
- Listening carefully
to the problems a patient brings to the session allows me to form
a metaphorical picture or map of the situation. From this picture
I am able to make a hypothesis as to the factors, forces, causes,
and reasons for the upsets and problems in the marriage or life. I
then work with the patient, as a team member and facilitator to overcome
resistance to change as we develop new productive behaviors.
- Having deeply
understood the problem's cause, it is possible to intervene and advocate
for the development of new habits, attitudes, and resources.
- Usually it is
necessary for both partners to make changes, but often one partner
will often be required to make more changes, possibly because he/she
is more capable or because he/she is more culpable.
- Marriage is
a system that requires both partners to be healthy on many levels
to manifest a fully mature marriage. The vitality of the marriage
is related to the number of degrees of freedom that can be shared
and appreciated (e.g. interests, activities, conversation, ability
to listen and understand, time together, physical health, spiritual
communion, children, property, work...)
Thoughts,
Insights, Observations, Theories, and Experiences in Counseling
- Rapport
Confrontation & Change
The foundations of relationship and the counseling session
Meeting your needs through understanding and polite conversation
- Romance
to Resentment
The unsatisfied needs of the soul produce hurt and estrangement
- Family
Therapy
Overview of the problems and strategies for solution
- Issues
In Relationship
Negotiating for needs, Handling angry outbursts
- Addiction
Issues
ACOA, Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, Music, 12 Step
- Offense
Charting
Resolving marital disharmony through accountability and feedback
- Sexual
Dysfunction/Incompatibility
Mind Map -- Definition, Diagnosis, and Treatment Strategy
- The
Stress Response
Mind Map Outline -- Cause, Effect, Treatment, and Coping with Stress
- Relationship
Therapy
An exposition of my counseling philosophy
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