Projection
Being Critical of the Person in the Mirror -- Misdirected Criticism

Even though soul-soul, spirit-spirit direct perception may be possible, our sense of connection and "knowing" another person's heart may be filtered and contaminated with the sounds, feelings, thoughts, and tone of one’s own soul.  Thus, when another person is "irritated" by one or more of our modalities of expression (words, tones, gestures, actions), that irritation may actually be a reflection of that person’s own issues, such as:

1.     Hypersensitivity
2.     Imbalance
3.     Immaturity
4.     Spiritual alliance

Such a reaction is illustrative of Jesus' admonition to take the beam out of one’s own eye first before attempting to remove the beam from your neighbor's (Matt 7:3).  Thus, while it may appear that the other person is the violator, it may be that it is your own soul and reaction that needs the adjustment and cleansing.

Thus, given the subjective nature of our soul's judgment of a situation, it is best to approach the confrontation of another person's irritating behaviors with a respectful and tentative posture.  Statements such as:

1.     I feel hurt by what you did/said, would you please do/say "X" for me in the future?
2.     It seems to me that the way you are acting/feeling is off balance, is there something going on for you around this issue?

If this type of confrontation is ineffective, then it may be necessary to bring in outside witnesses to bring to judge the situation independently.  This is the principle of “outside authority/accountability” and “independent witness”.  The limitation to this method is that anyone who has not seen the original event/behavior in question can only judge based upon stories told by the accuser or accused.  Such testimony may or may not be valid since it is necessarily limited to observation of interactions other than the one in question.  Thus, an inevitable bias is introduced in those who testify for or against the accused.