On Earth as it is in Heaven

 

Thomas Lee Abshier, ND
—-
Christian Counselor

Naturopathic Physician

Political Philosopher
Physicist-Theologian-Author

 

—
Marriage & Personal Counseling

Medical Consultations

—

1414 NE 109th Ave.

Portland, Oregon

(503) 255-9500
naturedox@qwest.net

 

Charting Categories
Template/Examples

By: Thomas Lee Abshier, ND

 

Organization of the Body/Mind/Spirit Categories and Subcategories

1) Major Body/Mind/Spirit Category
a) Specific Category
i) Examples of types of offense

 

How to use this “Offense & Appreciation Charting System”

• Note an offensive behavior done by your partner
• Use one sheet of paper to record each specific offense (e.g. leaving the garage door unlocked, speaking in an unkind tone, angry outburst, thoughtless mistakes, forgotten obligations, careless attitude resulting in something breaking, messy room, chores not done)
• Place each sheet in a loose-leaf binder under the appropriate Category and Subcategory
• Record on each individual “offense page” the following information:
• Estimate of the total # of occurrences of that particular offense during the entire relationship
• Estimate the frequency or range of frequencies of this violation: #/day, #/week, #/month, #/year.  
• Estimate the duration of the offense, #days, #/weeks, #/months, #years
• Record your recollection of the most significant specific instances of this offense
• Estimate the personal sense of significance of each specific offense using the 0-10 scale below
• This information should be done twice, on two different sheets of paper:
  a. The offended person’s perspective of the story
  b. The offender’s perspective of the situation
  c. Record additional instances of that offense after that item has been described in terms of its past characteristics

 

Estimate the Frequency of the Offense:
(How often has this offense happened in the past?)
(A range that is acceptable, e.g. 3-5)

1) Never – does not ever occur and is not an issue
2) Once a year
3) Every few months
4) Once a month
5) Every few weeks
6) Once a week – occurs moderately often
7) Every few days
8) Every day
9) Every few hours
10) Several times an hour
11) Always -- occurs continuously

12) If it ever occurs it is unacceptable

 

Estimate the Severity, Importance, and/or Significance of this Offense:
How significant is this particular offense in terms of personal taste and/or disturbance of the relationship

1) Not an issue
2) Vaguely aware
3) Noticeable, occasionally notice for a moment
4) Aware of the issue but don't dwell on it
5) Definitely notice, and catches attention
6) Moderate issue, annoying, important
7) Irritating, disturbing, wish it would stop
8) Cases distraction, focuses attention, this must change
9) Causes internal discomfort, barely tolerable, consuming
10)Causes emotional/physical/mental pain, not tolerable for much longer
11)The most severe issue, debilitating, absolutely intolerable, must be resolved, no compromises are possible

 

Making the list is a valuable and transforming exercise by itself. But, for it to have the most benefit to the relationship, there must be a negotiation about the offense where both parties are heard and understood. There must be a sharing, and a deep understanding by both parties as to:

1) What actually happened?

• What were the perceptions of the situation as seen by both parties?

2) What were the reasons and motivations behind the offending behavior?

• What was the motivation consciously present inside the offender?
• What was the projected motivation assumed by the offended person?

3) Why was the behavior offensive to the offended party?

 

”Offense Log” Organization
(Organizing the entries into a natural order)

• Place each of the “offense sheets” in a binder.
• Organize them under the appropriate headings:
• Place them in order, write the Heading Name, and Sub heading name on the upper right corner of each page

1) Inner Spiritual Man
a) Attitudes, Beliefs, Alliance

• Christian, Born Again, Committed, Radically Saved, Mature and experienced in life and the Word
• Bible Believing, Protestant, Catholic, Amish, Mennonite, Baptist, Presbyterian
• Growing Christian, but young and immature in some or many areas of life
• Nominal Christian, in name, not actively pursuing growth
• Uncommitted, Agnostic
• Atheist, Evolutionist, Nihilist, Existentialist
• Humanist, Scientist
• Eastern Religion: Sikhism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Bahai, Islam, Shinto
• Cults: TM, Scientology, Moon, Jones, Rajneesh, Vedanta Society, Sri Rama Krishna, Yogananda, Hare Krishna
• Earth Worship, New Age, Native American
• Mystery religions: Masonic, Rosicrucian, Cabala
• Magic religions: witchcraft/Wicca, Tarot, Astrology, Divining, Crystals
• UFO worship
• Hedonism -- Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll, Money, Power
• Satanism

b) Conscience

• Godly conscience: Holy spirit led, habitual implant of right action by reading of the “Word”, commitment to righteousness, habitual practice, learning of error by correction and discipline
• Lukewarm conscience: acceptant of almost everyone, tolerance is his/her primary standard, only angry and upset by people who do not tolerate everyone and everything
• Cold conscience: hard, seared, scarred, walled off, cold, unreceptive
• Erroneous conscience: Following wrong spiritual guide, good intent, but poor discrimination
• Evil conscience: Dedication to rebellion against God, feel the pangs of conscience for “not doing evil”

c) Fruit of the Spirit

• Fruit: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. Gal 5:22-23
• Human fruit: immediate pleasure, survival, happiness, ease, peace
• Anti-Fruit: hatred, unhappiness, disquiet, impatience, harshness, evil, doubt, pride, excess

d) Morals

• Godly, based on long term payoff, based on structure of human soul and purpose of the spirit
• Human, based on maximal pleasure, anyone hurt, survival
• Satanic, reversed, maximal immediate violation of Godly morality, or strategy to obtain larger anti-God violation by delay

 

2) Mind:
a) Memory

• Perfected memory: remember what is needed, reminded by the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and by human methods, and tools
• Deficient/Learning Disabled: Forgetting, erroneous recall, suppression of memory to avoid unpleasant tasks, suppression of memory to block out unpleasant past images and feelings of overwhelming trauma
• Debilitated: Living only in the present, unable to learn anything from the past, genetically deficient, trauma or drug induced damage of brain circuitry disenabling the brain’s memory functionality.

b) Focus

• Inattention
• Obsessive
• Flighty

c) Processing

• Logical sequencing based on the rules of natural physical processes, and/or temporal occurrence of events, and or laws and limitations of man and God
• Generalization: Blending together multiple categories, situations, and/or principles to maintain a limited and inaccurate concept of reality
• Deletions: Ignoring, forgetting, and/or blocking out data to maintain a limited and inaccurate concept of reality
• Distortions: changing, rearranging, and/or (de)emphasizing

d) Perception

• Accurate recounting and recall of all important events
• Misperception

 

3) Heart
a) Will

• Commitments, vows, intentions
• Hope
• Attitude

b) Discernment
c) Imagination

 

4) Emotions
a) Anger

• Chronically Angry
• Suppressing anger, “stuffing it”
• Volcanic rage, blow-ups, ventilation
• Angry tones pervading all speech and attitudes
• Flaccid, inappropriately accepting
• Guilty about saying no, nice to everyone, but lash out at loved ones

b) Fearful

• Chronically Fearful, anxious, worrying
• Fearless, reckless, taking chances

c) Detached

• Cold, aloof, non-feeling, frigid, non caring, mechanical, stoic
• Inappropriately attached, clinging, possessive

d) Depressed

• Unhappy, joyless, hopeless, dark, gloomy
• Manic, hyper enthusiastic, un-humanly tireless

e) Prideful

• Self-Righteous, haughty, prideful, arrogance, conceited, stuck up
• Delusions of grandeur
• Inferiority Complex, self depreciating, low self esteem

f) Hurt

• Any of the emotions acting on the soul pain receptors
• Loss, grief, sorrow
• Loss of hope, health, possessions, relationship, life
• Diminishment of self value, belittlement

 

5) Personality, Disposition, Character, Approach
a) Changeability

• Rigid, Uncompromising, stuck
• Hyper-flexible, unstable, mutable

b) Risk Taking

• Dare-Devil, adventuresome, aggressive
• Conservative, cautious

c) Extrovert/Introvert
d) Judgmental/Acceptant
e) Intuitive/Concrete

 

6) Actions
a) Mannerisms

i) Odd behaviors

• Ticks, grunts
• Talking to self

ii) Expressions

• No expression, blank, expressionless, spaced out
• Hyper-expressive, exaggerated tones

iii) Social Graces -- Manners

• Table manners, elbows, smacking lips, using fingers, chewing with mouth open
• Eating too fast
• Not controlling body sounds
• Excessively controlling and aware of other people, hypersensitive

b) Annoying habits
i) Repetitive Behaviors

• Hand washing, checking lights, locking door
• Smacking lips at table
• Popping joints
• Picking at hair (trichotilomania), nails, skin

ii) Obsessive Behaviors: OCD

• Wiping counters
• Saving things
• Checking lights, stove, locks

iii) Unawareness

• Not paying attention to anyone else while doing a task
• Clumsy, unaware of body, objects, others
• Insensitive to needs/feelings of others
• Unaware of the propriety and protocol required in a situation
• Inappropriate behavior for the environment
• Careless, making mistakes doing a task

iv) Energy level

• Manic, never stops, excessively positive, impaired judgment, excessive risk-taking
• Depressive, little life-energy or enthusiasm

 

7) Word/Speech/Listening
a) Speech

• Phrases or colloquialisms
• Mispronunciation
• Profanity, Obscenities, Blasphemy
• Degrading comments
• Lying
• Puns, inappropriate humor, never serious
• Repetition of stories
• Talking too long, not making a point
• Not making sense
• Fearful words and attitude

b) Listening

• Not hearing
• Not understanding
• Not paying attention

c) Tone of voice

• Too loud
• Yelling angrily
• Sarcasm
• Condescending
• Breaking promises
• Speaking words of non-love