Doctor Counselor
Healing for the Body, Soul, and Spirit
Through Understanding, Wisdom, and God’s Power
Christian Counseling: Marriage & Family, Personal & Interpersonal Therapy
–
Thomas Lee Abshier, ND
On Earth as it is in Heaven


Diary of Sexual Satisfaction
By: Thomas Lee Abshier, ND
Use this list as a guide to creating a diary of your sexual experience when having
problems in the area of sexual compatibility. Recording the facts and experience
of sex to document the past for the enjoyment of reflection and memories of the good
times of a marriage, it’s a great bonding point to look back at your times of private
shared enjoyment of life’s most special and sacred experience between a man and woman.
And, when there are problems in this area, it helps to get a sense of reality when
attempting to solve a problem of unmet needs.
Sexual Needs
- Use the following questions as a guide to making a diary of past and present sexual
experiences.
- Record each intimate experience in a dedicated diary, and rate its quality.
- Make note of the facts of each experience, and the subjective experience of satisfaction.
- Both husband and wife should record his/her experience, and commentary.
List of Sexual Tastes:
- How often do you want slow love:
- How often want quick release:
- Favorite Positions:
- Other sexual enjoyment tastes:
- Environment, location, time, lead-up:
Level of Sexual Need
- Hate it, makes me ill, never want it
- No need, no drive, don't care, never, can't perform
- Enjoy sex, but don't feel like it with this person
- OK, take it or leave it
- Like to have it now and then when I feel the need
- Very important, fantasize about it all the time
Sexual Satisfaction Record (each session of lovemaking)
- Date & Time:
- Duration of foreplay and intercourse:
- Adequate foreplay (Y/N)
- Quality (1-10) 5 = Average
- Description (positions, activities...)
Attitudes about Sex:
- Level of comfort with sex:
- Perception of level of sexual compatibility:
- What does your partner think about the quality of your sexual experience together?
- What would be his/her comment about interest in, and satisfaction with, sex?
Quality of relationship influencing sexual desire:
- Nagging, accusations, not listening, unfair monetary practices, sarcasm, criticism,
lack of common interests, job stress, other relationships competing for affection,
lack of time, body out of shape and undesirable...