On Earth as it is in Heaven

 

Thomas Lee Abshier, ND
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Christian Counselor

Naturopathic Physician

Political Philosopher
Physicist-Theologian-Author

 

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Marriage & Personal Counseling

Medical Consultations

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1414 NE 109th Ave.

Portland, Oregon

(503) 255-9500
naturedox@qwest.net

 

Understanding Anger

 

1. Anger Stimuli & Motivations

 

1.1 I want to change things, make things different, I don't like how things are now, Anger expresses my frustration, and people move

1.1.1 Anger as Frustration

*Desire to get something done

*Desire for outcome is elusive

*Competence vs. Desire

 

1.2 Anger is the most natural reaction when things are not going like I think they should

1.2.1 Anger as a Reaction to Irritation

*Anger as Reaction to pain

*Habitual soul/emotional Reaction to irritation

*Anger as natural Reaction to wanting things different

*Things are bad I want things to change

 

1.3 I like to control people. They jump when I express anger. It gives me a feeling of power

1.3.1 Anger as Control

*Need to control to compensate for a sense of powerlessness

*Fearless: No thought about personal injury or consequences

*Recognition that people respond to anger with fear, and can be controlled

 

1.4 I feel helpless, incompetent, inadequate, I don't know how to perform properly, it's so irritating & painful, anger expresses my pain

1.4.1 Anger as helplessness

*Inability to control life

*Little talent, training, skill

*Frustration at inability

*Frustration at the irritation

 

1.5 I've gotten in the habit of reacting with anger and I do it every time I want a change

1.5.1 Anger as Addiction

*Habitual Emotional Reaction

*Successful Strategy

*Family/Modeled Response

*Fearless approach

*High Personal Desire

*Trauma/Event Imprinted

 

1.6 I've taken so much control and abuse by everyone else, I've had it, I won't take it anymore, I just exploded

1.6.1 Anger as Explosion

*Everyone else is dumping on me

*Things are not going like I wanted

*I am in jeopardy if I express anger at work

*I express anger in a safe place where I cannot be rejected – Family

*I explode totally inappropriately, yelling, leaving, or violence

 

1.7 When things get bad enough I finally get angry and I have enough energy to actually move and get something done

1.7.1 Anger as Motivator

*Things are a mess, hard to find stuff or move

*Job needs to be done, Boss putting pressure

*The pressure on me to perform increases internally and externally

*I finally react, get moving, get the job done

 

1.8 When I'm angry people are afraid of me and they don't realize that I feel small

1.8.1 Anger as Cover up

*Inferiority

*Bravado & attack as a facade, I fear others, so I attack first and it keeps them off guard

*Pretense of superiority

 

1.9 I've been frustrated all my life, I've never showed it, I've been a good Christian, I've turned the other cheek, and now I have ulcers

1.9.1 Anger Turned Inward

*Long term frustration

*Felt wrong to express anger, morally, or power-hierarchy

*Letting the other person, situation, win, dominate

*Attempting to be the saint,

*Feeling like the victim

*Body systems activate, don't express, tissues overload, decay

 

1.10 Whenever I eat, drink, or take something I have this overwhelming spirit of anger come over me.

1.10.1 Anger as a neurochemical phenomenon

*Allergies, brain inflammation, food, airborne allergens, chemicals

*Drugs, medications – direct neurochemical stimuli of anger centers of the body; e.g. alcohol, PCP

 

1.11 It seems like the most natural reaction, everyone acts angry when things happen.

1.11.1 Anger learned as a behavior

*Family spirit -- spiritual curse; giving in to the spirit of anger; family spiritual heritage

*Family behavior pattern

*Genetic inheritance, neurological tendency

*Friends, environment, employees, situations, trauma

 

1.12 I hate it how my wife/husband seems so popular with other men/women. He/she seems to enjoy the attention, and responds with such enthusiasm and interest.

1.12.1 Anger as an expression of love, protection, & possession

*Anger seen as a justified and appropriate teaching tool

*Anger as a righteous punishment for perceived flirtatious attitude or actions.

*Exaggerated evaluation of mate's involvement, with resultant excessive response

 

1.13 When he/she acts so weird, spaced out, forgetful, irritating... I can't stand it. He/She is simply too strange and "everyone" knows it. He/She is an embarrassment.

1.13.1 Anger as teaching tool, and expression of alienation

*Weird behavior is anything that is unfamiliar, judged as morally wrong, or socially-culturally unacceptable

*Weird behavior irritates the sense of propriety, and sense of group acceptability, hence status and survival

*Transpersonalization: I have identified his/her behavior as reflective of myself, and the judgement of other people is the same/similar to my own

 

2. Preventing Anger

2.1 Dwell on Biblical precepts of self control, temperance, slow to anger

2.2 Avoid anger arousing situations & people -- Know your limits, triggers, and weaknesses

2.3 Re-evaluate situations before acting, meditate, judge rightly then act appropriately

2.4 Build self-esteem -- know your place in God's world, and serve with competence and humility

2.5 Learn to confront: Say what you want, and be prepared to negotiate and meet resistance

2.6 Be controlled by the spirit -- develop a heart to the Ways of the Lord, and listen to the voice of conscience

 

3. Expression of Anger

3.1 Acting out

3.1.1 Direct Aggression

*Trespass: Violation of any space -- mental, emotional, physical, spiritual

*Personal space is any domain that I consider under my control, authority, responsibility, affection, or taste

*Aggression is any act of control of space by force, without agreement

*Forceful change: overpowering the circumstance by force, will, authority, intimidation

*Intentional damage: to produce change by force, threat of force, or after using force

*Threat: Implication of damage, pain, defamation, embarrassment, exposure, loss

 

3.1.2 Passive aggression

Sarcasm, insincere comments, voice with tone of rebellion or retaliation

Conscious: Sabotage of projects, mistakes, forgetting, work slowdown

Subconscious:acting out to retaliate

Framing everything as though I am a victim

Silence: refusal to share, non-participation, disinterest, withdrawing inward

Repression: holding back, non-expression

Turning inward

 

3.1.3 Redirected aggression

*Anger at other person, and expressing it at anything else

*Inner passion, feeling of need to release that passion, Resistance to express it toward the source. Expressing it at another object or person

*Built up feeling in one area of life, frustration, lack of fulfillment or manifestation, powerless to control or make a difference

 

3.1.4 Mistaken aggression

*Interactions interpreted as aggression, but inaccurately attributed as intentional violations of space

*Interactions about disputed or mutual ownership of space

*Desired behavior, but improperly executed, or done with a "perceived attitude"

*Operations on another person's space, but different criteria for adequate performance/non-performance

*Projection: mind-reading of another person's motive – impugning malice, intentional hurt

 

3.1.5 Verbal Release of anger

*Dishonest Sharing

*Vengeance

*Verbal Abuse

*Refusal to Share

 

4. Overcoming Anger

4.1 Face the sources of anger

*Admit the anger

*Express the anger

*Consider the source of the anger

 

4.2 Develop Godly Responses to offense

*Humility

*Confession

*Forgiveness

 

4.3 Learn Self control

*Learn to govern human spirit with Godly spirit

*Slow Reactions: process situations, take time before responding, pray, put self in position of other person

*Avoid an angry mind set. Use the experience of "feeling angry" as a trigger to stop the anger

*Ownership: Use "I statements" indicating personal taste and response

*Resist the devil and he will flee. Replace angry thoughts with "what's so", "perspective", "understanding the other person's perspective".

 

4.4 Build a healthy self concept

*See people as simply expressing their opinion about situation, performance, etc.

*See self as human, fallible, and forgivable. Allow yourself to make a mistake, have habits, desires, frustrations. Imperfection is normal, you're still an acceptable member of society/humanity if you control your passions and desire to do good.

*Everyone has a right to an opinion, needs, tastes, desires; they are entitled to express frustration and anger about not getting their needs met

*Realistically evaluate your talents, and develop them into skills. Recognize your unique contribution to life and give of yourself fully in your area of excellence. Be as effective and capable as possible. Accept your position for what it is, no more, no less.

 

4.5 Human anger can be controlled

*Temperance -- restrain the temptation to give instant outburst

*Vulnerability -- express your displeasure with a situation rather than simply getting angry

*Resist -- revenge, rumination, retaliation, control, addictions

*Request -- Ask for what you want, get agreement, negotiate for outcome

*Forgiveness -- Try to understand why the other person acted as they did

*Ownership --- Make "I statements" -- tell how you feel, what you want, what you saw, what you believe

*Convert -- Human anger can be transformed into Godly message

 

4.6 Cleanse the heart of an Angry Spirit

*Dwell on those things which are good, lovely

*Pray for a new heart, ask for a miraculous transformation of heart, attitude, passions

*Act out the wise, good, proper, righteous behavior

*Meditate on new behavior, mentally re-run the proper behavior, practice doing it right

*Have faith that your behavior can change -- anger is a behavior and attitude, choose to dwell on the good

*Study righteousness, model it, practice it, know it -- read the Bible, know the right thing to do based on the standard of Truth

*Pray for wisdom -- knowing the right thing to do, insight

 

5. Consequences of Anger

5.1 Godly Anger

*People move to do right behavior

*God's law is enforced without physical harm

*Psychic/emotional pressure for action applied

*Righteous judgement is applied, proper punishment, adequate force to train new behavior

5.2 Human Anger

*Hurt feelings

*Damaged relationships

*Damaged self-concept

*Damaged bodies and/or property

 

6. Causes of Anger

6.1 Injustice

*Godly anger at human evil. Perfected and appropriate human anger will be against those things that are evil, unjust, or violations.

6.2 Harm

*Anger as a punishment, or retaliation for harm, or prevention of future harm

6.3 Threat: protective retaliatory threat, intimidation to prevent harm

*Anger as a response to stop actual harm

6.4 Frustration

*Want to, but can't -- unfulfilled desire

6.5 Learned Behavior/Modeling

Anger as a behavior pattern, coping strategy, reaction to events

6.6 Biology

*Neurotransmitter imbalance, brain irritation, allergies, chemical stimulation, trauma

6.7 Anger may result from faulty perception

*Anger does not need reality to be stimulated. Any belief that a thought is reality will trigger the emotion of anger

6.8 Anger may result from similar experience

6.9 Anger as spiritual communication

 

7. Judging Anger Properly:

7.1 Righteous Anger

7.1.1 God's Anger is righteous

7.1.2 Unrighteousness defined by God's Law

7.1.3 Human Anger is righteous when expressed in support of God's principles, His judgement, and His Laws

*When humans are angered by the unrighteousness of behavior, government, leadership, circumstances, group mind, the passion will empower accomplishment and justice.

7.1.4 Anger that stimulates righteous action for accomplishment

*Anger at problems, difficulties, obstacles is a righteous reflection of God's desire to overcome and manifest. Such emotion gives emphasis and energy to accomplishment

7.1.5 Slow to wrath about wrong behavior, injustice, poor quality, mistakes, missed opportunities

7.1.6 It is right, appropriate, and just, in fact necessary, for humans to express anger at the times when God is Angry.

*It must be recognized that God is the author of all emotions.

*This is a free will world. God has a plan for how people should act according to His perfect Will, and his Law/standard.

*There is no purely evil emotion. There is only application of emotion inappropriately. God is the standard for propriety.

 

7.2 Unrighteous Anger

7.2.1 Human passion: reflexive and unregulated anger expressed quickly when needs and wants are unfulfilled

7.2.2 Powerlessness: Insecurity compensated for by bravado, intimidation, and offensive behavior in response to fear

7.2.3 Addiction: habitual expression of anger as a reflexive response to situations

7.2.4 Control: joy of cruelty, power, manipulation, threat